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We accept the love we think we deserve

December 31, 2012

“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.”-Barbara De Angelis

“No matter how qualified or deserving we are, we will never reach a better life until we can imagine it for ourselves and allow ourselves to have it”-Richard Bach

Good afternoon SQers! I know it has been quite a while since I have posted, but I figured why not post at the end of the year. I am not sure if this post is going to mean weekly posts again, but it will mean at least one more post for now. I hope your year has gone well! Mine has gone by looking like a blur with a whole lot of change and new experiences. Nevertheless, here we are again at that reflective holiday time period.

Recently, I have been doing a bit of reflecting on the relationships in my life. Despite my sarcasm and tough personality, I like to think of myself as a genuinely nice person. If you analyzed the relationships in my life, I think you really would see the extent to which I try to be a loving and caring person. As with anything, it has its negative side…sometimes I give too much.  For all of the”crappy” people in my life,  it is in my nature (for some reason)  to want to give them the benefit of the doubt. To allow them to stay in my life justifying it on the grounds of “Oh he/she is just going through a rough patch”….”He/She’s a good person deep down”. “He/She just needs a friend”. My rationale behind doing that somehow I am being the bigger person and being there for someone when they need me. Rather than seeing it in its truest form for the enabling that I am being a part of and for the damage it inflicts on my own life.  

Both these quotations allude to the idea of figuring out what you deserve. As the De Angelis quotation breaks it down step-wise part of making that change in your life rests upon realizing what you want and more importantly what you deserveI am a believer in karma. If you are someone who strives to be a good person and make good choices, you deserve to be treated as such. You should not be spending your time with someone who does not realize how wonderful you are and who brings you down. It can be hard to sit back and be selfish about what you want & what you deserve, but sometimes you need to. You have to remember what an incredible person you are and check your own life every now and then. If you ever forget and can’t do it for yourself, just ask someone important in your life  . The second part of the equation is what the Bach quotation alludes to…you need to allow yourself to go after and create that kind of life for yourself.  It may create a certain degree of disillusionment with what is familiar to you, but it is integral to creating the kind of life you deserve to have.

Part of what sculpts that existence is who we choose to surround ourselves and share our time with. This is where that relationship piece becomes crucial. To be the best version of ourselves and to be content, we should spend our time with people who love, support and challenge us to be better. Whether we are talking about friends or romantic relationships, it is worth taking the time to examine the relationships in your own life.  It takes a lot of strength to cut ties with the people who are toxic to your life, but in the end you will find it a cleansing process. Also , it is worth taking the time to remind those who are important to you just how important they really are. I challenge you to take stock of your own life in all of its aspects and evaluate whether or not you are living the life you deserve. If you find that you are not, find solace in the fact that you can be the agent of that change. 

That’s all for now. Happy New Year my lovely readers! Hope you chase after what you DESERVE in 2013. Look out for a Part 2 New Year’s Post coming tomorrow with my personal resolutions. 

See you tomorrow, 

❤ SQ

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 3, 2013 5:17 pm

    Its always a pleasure to see a new SQ post!
    And again… I feel you’re speaking to me… I have a friend (or two) & about five co-workers that probably don’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated… and I’ve been struggling with that fact lately. 2013 should be a year of good healthy changes! So here’s to that!

    Happy New Year! I hope its the best yet!
    xo

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