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May angels lead you in

August 1, 2010
  • Title Inspiring Song: “Hear You Me”-Jimmy Eat World
  • Happy August! New month= new cause. This month our cure is  Stand Up to Cancer which raises money to fund scientific research to find a cure for cancer. There are more types of cancer than you will believe and even more people who suffer year after year with cancer. Scientific research is continuing to make progress towards finding a cure, but they need funds to continue the types of research that they do.  So take a few seconds, click and do your part to help us move towards finding a cure.

“Sorrow makes us all children again-destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.”-Erich Fromm

Good afternoon SQ readers! Can you believe it’s already August? Feels like time has flown by so fast and here we are reaching the end of summer. There are some issues which are always easier to address than others, but here comes one that’s not so easy.

Death is one of those things we intellectually acknowledge and come to terms with. Everybody is born and someday we will all die. Being aware of that irrefutable fact does not make it any easier when the time comes. It waits for no one and can happen unexpectedly. There’s no way to prepare for it or the grief that comes along with it.

No experience with grief is really the same either. It still hurts like a fresh wound every time it happens. And unfortunately it’s not the kind of thing that goes away quickly, it’s the kind of phantom pain that swells and recedes that you may carry with you for months, years or even for the rest of your life.  It’s a pain that gets at the core of your being and is not really reasonable in nature. The only known remedy is time which does not package itself in a convenient little pill.

So how do you rationalize and deal with your grief? Well it happens differently for everyone. My grief will be different from the way you experience yours and the way someone else experiences it even if we are talking about losing the same person. It’s an ugly word and a complicated emotion that we will all experience to some degree in our lives, but the one common denominator is that it is not easy for anyone to deal with. Not even the most intelligent people you know and not even for those who deal with death on a regular basis.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from the grief that I have experienced, it is that you can’t stop yourself from experiencing it. The harder you try to bottle it and compartmentalize, the more strongly it will push itself out.  You can think to yourself: Why did I have to care? Why bother even getting attached? Well because if you didn’t you would have missed out on all the great memories you had with that person and they never would have made an imprint on your life.

The healing process is difficult, trying and the pain never really completely disappears.  At times it can almost seem impossible. But the people we care about and love would have never wanted us to experience life a slave to our grief. They would rather see us finding happiness, growing and succeeding. To go about doing that, we must remember the good memories that we’ve had with the people we’ve lost. The best times and the ones which cause us to miss them the most. Envision them in those moments and remember the way in which they changed our lives. Because as a wise woman once said to me, it’s in those moments and those memories that they will always be whenever it is we should need them.

 

That’s all for now. Have a fabulous week! I won’t be posting next Sunday since I will be away, but I promise a long post upon my return. In the meantime, leave comments and click to raise money for SU2C our new cause for August.

❤ SQ

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Barbara permalink
    August 7, 2010 8:00 pm

    Hope you’re having a nice vacation! 🙂

    I like what you had to say about grief. Focusing on the good times is a good tonic. Dr. Seuss had a very wise saying, something like, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” It helps me a lot.

    Still, after my grandfather died, I cried every day in the shower for almost a year. Even now, nine years later, I still cry over him once in a while. But it helps. As Isak Dinesen observed, “The cure for anything is salt water – sweat, tears, or the sea.”

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