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It’s too late to apologize…

May 23, 2010
  • Title inspiring song: “Apologize”-One Republic feat. Timbaland
  • We’re approaching the end of May so PLEASE continue to click and help raise money for Ovarian Cancer research. It’s a great cause and it’s free!
  • Since summer is supposed to be a time of relaxation and rest(supposedly), I figured why not try something new. So upon the very annoying insistence of a friend of mine I finally decided to succumb to Twittermania and  experimentally test out having a twitter. If any of you have twitter and have any desire to follow me and hear the weird things that happen to me on an everyday basis coupled with some interesting quotes I find…follow me :

“When you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”-Catherine Ponder

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”-Lewis B. Smedes

     Good afternoon my lovely SQ readers! I hope all is well where ever you might be. The topic this week is something that I feel that I have been grappling with a lot recently and something that I definitely think everyone can relate to. Without further ado, let’s get into this week’s post.

      Take 5 seconds right now. Think about someone who has wronged you fairly recently in your life. Most likely someone close to you and who by doing whatever they did made you angry. You probably still harbor some resentment towards this person as what this person did was awful and they deserve whatever has happened to them after-the-fact. Now this person probably has tried to apologize at least once if they are not a clueless dimwit, care about getting your forgiveness and have somewhat reflected on their actions. Think back to the moment(s). Think back to what they did that set you off and crossed the line. Think about how it made you feel immediately after. Now that you’re done with that cool visualization exercise..what if I asked you to forgive that person? You would probably tell me I was losing my damn mind and to stop butting my head into things that I fully comprehend. I’m not you and I don’t know what it was like.

       By doing that visualization as we customarily tend to do when we are angry, we relive the pain..we feel the wound as fresh as it was at the time that it happened. Previously, if you had told me to forgive someone when I still had some reason to harbor resentment, I would have flat-out refused. Why? Because there’s no way I would forgive someone who clearly did not deserve it and make things easier for them by letting them off the hook. People always say especially when you’re a child…Be the bigger person. Forgive him/her. What if you do not want to be the bigger person? What if they did something to hurt you so bad that they do not deserve to ever be forgiven? Until almost recently, I do not think I ever fully comprehended what being the “bigger person” really meant and the true nature of forgiveness.

       Forgiveness in its truest nature really is not something meant to benefit the person who wronged you. It’s meant to benefit you. It is so easy to be angry and to go on hating those people who have wronged you. But what kind of life is that…you should not have to become an angry ogre because of something someone else did to you. Living with that much anger and resentment poisons your own life as well as contaminating the lives of people you come into contact with. By holding on to that anger resentment, you retain that stronger than steel emotional link that imprisons you to continue to be a victim to what has happened to you and to live in that rut longer than you need to. 

       So forgive. Be the brave person who accepts their fate and the hand that they have been dealt. Come to terms with your pain and suffering and forgive. It’s probably not going to be what the person was expecting from you. Let them figure out how to deal with the consequences of their actions and how to right things again. Let them do the work and feel the true extent of what their actions have done. Move on and accept the fact that whatever they did is not going to govern your future. You are the master of your own fate and no one else’s unjust actions are going to shape your future. Forgiveness does not equal tolerance and just because you forgive them does not mean that you tolerate being wronged that way. It means that you as a person are strong enough to move past it which is admirable and not something many people can do. 


 Go out this week and forgive the people in your life who you can. Free yourself and you will feel like a better person for it. Instead of being the bigger person, be the master of your own fate and do not let someone else’s actions affect your life.

That’s all for now. Have a fantastic week!

See you next Sunday, 

❤ SQ        

6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 24, 2010 12:21 pm

    “Forgiveness in its truest nature really is not something meant to benefit the person who wronged you.” Wow, isn’t that true. Such wisdom.

    • May 24, 2010 2:27 pm

      it took me a while to really realize that, but isn’t that crazy?
      thank you for commenting eva!

  2. Barbara permalink
    June 16, 2010 4:42 pm

    Everything you say is so very true. As we get older it gets easier and easier to forgive… easier to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, easier to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. I also believe that as we mature we learn not to take everything so personally. And it may seem cliche, but after raising our three kids (who are in their 20s and 30s now) and making so many mistakes in spite of my best efforts to be the best mom possible, it became so easy to forgive my parents for what I considered to be their faults in raising me. I think what I’m trying to say is that the more we become aware of our own need to be forgiven, the more we feel inclined to return the favor and forgive others.

    • June 16, 2010 8:03 pm

      hmmm i like that barbara. “the more we become aware of our own need to be forgiven, the more we feel inclined to return the favor and forgive others”
      i never thought of it that way
      thank you for commenting!

  3. Jhen jenie permalink
    April 19, 2011 9:06 pm

    I think to forgive is easy, it’s what u leave behind that make it so difficult.


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